Can Danny?

While watching The West Wing a couple of nights ago, I heard a story that basically summed up how I feel about the idea that Celtics fans should hold out hope that a miracle will come and save the franchise. It was the story of the Man Who Lived by the River (not to be confused with the guy who lives in a van down by the river). The story went like this:

You know, you remind me of the man that lived by the river. He heard a radio report that the river was going to rush up and flood the town. And that all the residents should evacuate their homes. But the man said, 'I'm religious. I pray. God loves me. God will save me.'
The waters rose up. A guy in a row boat came along and he shouted, 'Hey, hey you! You in there. The town is flooding. Let me take you to safety.' But the man shouted back, 'I'm religious. I pray. God loves me. God will save me.'
A helicopter was hovering overhead. And a guy with a megaphone shouted, 'Hey you, you down there. The town is flooding. Let me drop this ladder and I'll take you to safety.' But the man shouted back that he was religious, that he prayed, that God loved him and that God will take him to safety.
Well... the man drowned.
And standing at the gates of St. Peter, he demanded an audience with God. 'Lord,' he said, 'I'm a religious man, I pray. I thought you loved me. Why did this happen?'
God said, 'I sent you a radio report, a helicopter, and a guy in a rowboat. What the hell are you doing here?'

This is essentially how I feel about the Celtics. Each year begins with the promise of trades to come and each year ends with the hope that maybe Wally will be healthy next season. Stick to the plan that some great trade will appear; a savior will emerge from nowhere. Every year, more names flood the imagination of Celtics fans everywhere: Baron Davis. Carlos Boozer. Allen Iverson. Pau Gasol. Kevin Garnett. Yet Sebastian Telfair is the only person who's walked through that door.

But the rumors persist and the fandom keeps praying. Steve Bulpett and others won't let the Garnett deal die. Chad Ford, a constant devil who wields rumors like Satan does temptation, is back on our shoulder, whispering in our ear that Pau Gasol could be had for as little as Theo Ratliff, Delonte West, and the #5 pick. Of course, like all rumors, common sense questions muddy the picture: why would Gasol be given away for so little (and isn't the deal more for Horford, who would be gone by #5?); if the issue is money, wouldn't they force Brian Cardinal on us (just like the Wolves did with Jaric); nevermind that other teams could come up with better offers. Yet still, the empty wishes are enough to capture the hearts and minds of the faithful.

I hope I'm wrong. I hope that, finally, something will break in favor of the Celtics. I hope that, to steal from The West Wing again, I'm allowing my own demons to shout down my better angels. But personally, I think all of this hope for a blockbuster is more like the first quote, or like a quote from another Aaron Sorkin script, "The American President". Celtics fans want to win, they want to believe their team is getting closer to contending, and...

"They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand.

Personally, that is what I think Ford, Stein, Bulpett and the other rumor-mongers have to offer; the promise of water and a glass full of sand.