If there's such a thing as lowly recommending a film, I'd lowly recommend M. Night Shymalan's "The Happening". The film, in which people mysteriously start offing themselves, is a disasterpiece; so ridiculously bad that it's good. I personally believe that this was Shymalan's intention but the film isn't really funny enough to work that well as a Raimi-esque horror-comedy. In order for this film to work, I think people have to know that you're in on the joke and, in this case, Shymalan did such a good job making a bad movie that it looks and feels just like a bad movie. And that's not good.

Still, the film is on the cable movie channels now and is on DVD and I suggest people take a loot at it (unless, of course, they have anything remotely productive that they could do instead). For a taste of the grateness, here's a little scene.

The reason that I bring up that film is because the NBA is entering it's silly season. The summer is ripe for bad signings and stupid trades. Also, the NBA is still working in the shadows of an infamous year (and two days) in which some mind-blowingly bad trades were made (For the details on this, click the Continue Reading link). I doubt that this summer could be as terrible (one of the few good things to come out of the recession is that team's might use their brains before throwing money around) but it's already started off with a fizzle.

Anderson Varejao is reportedly opting out of the final year of his contract. The move is inexplicable for two reasons: a) he's probably not going to make more than the 6 million that he was due and b) next offseason is when people will have money to spend; this offseason has a limited amount of teams with cap space and most of them might be spending it on top notch players or saving it for the mythical 2010 season. And if you need a third reason, Varejao didn't exactly earn himself any money with his performance in the playoffs. The only move that might do a better job of putting the off in offseason is if Jamal Crawford opts out of his deal, worth 2 years, 20 million.

Hopefully teams will snap out of it and use their heads this summer. Maybe players will embrace common sense and agree to terms that help themselves and their teams. Probably not but one can dream, right?

As a service to GM's and players, I'd like to remind them of their mistakes of last summer. Mind you, this is only for last summer so deals like Billups and Shaq for Marion aren't eligible. Here is my take on the Ten Worst Moves of the OFFseason '08.

Honorable Mention: JJ Hickson over Courtney Lee - LeBron needed help now. Immediately. So Danny Ferry decided to take a raw PF. A few picks later, the Magic land Lee who played a large part in their run to the Finals and upset of the Cavs.

10. Wizards re-sign Antawn Jamison: Not that Jamison is bad but he's not worth the money they offered him (4 years, 50 million) and they were keeping together a core that would have to overachieve to win a  game in the 2nd round of the playoffs (if they could make it back).

9. The Fall of Mario Chalmers - The Celtics (and a number of other teams) can feel foolish about missing out on the talented Chalmers but the Wolves have to really be licking their wounds. They drafted Chalmers and then traded him for cash and the Heat's 2009 second round pick. Making matters worse, they then overpaid for Sebastian Telfair.

8. Ben Gordon turns down 5 years, $50 million: Ben had a nice playoffs... and still might not be able to get a deal as good as this one.

7. Sixers sign Elton Brand: Brand didn't fit the Sixers offense, then got hurt, then tried to come back but everyone realized they'd probably just be better without him. I'd be stunned if priority #1 this offseason for Philly wasn't finding a taker for Brand.

6. Boston Celtics don't re-sign James Posey: Would Posey have made the difference in the Magic series? Perhaps. One thing that is for certain is that relying on Tony Allen is about as bad of a plan as thinking Patrick O'Bryant or Mikki Moore can bring something, anything to the table. Oddly enough, the Hornets signing James Posey also backfired as the Hornets are now desperate to cut costs and would love to get rid of Posey's contract.

5. The Bulls re-sign Luol Deng: Mr. Untouchable was the reason many a trade didn't go down for the Bulls and now they can't wait to dump him. I still have faith in Deng and think that, talent-wise, he'd be an almost perfect fit in Portland. I just don't know if they can afford his contract with Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge coming due for contract extensions.

4. The Warriors sign Corey Maggette: Most basketball fans were talking about where Corey would end up as an MLE signing. The Warriors then rushed in and offered him a surprising five year, 50 million dollar contract. Corey had a decent season but the MLE was more fitting, not because that's how much he's worth but because he is a "ME" first guy and that leads to an L for the team. (I'm so clever)

3. Clippers sign Baron Davis: Maybe Baron can turn it around but right now he looks like a banged up veteran who isn't as good as he once was and doesn't seem completely focused on trying to get back to his past glory. Before the season, I really think Davis was more focused on his website than winning. Maybe the arrival of Blake Griffin and the insult of the Clippers not being able to literally give him away will get the fight back in him. But even then, there's the question of how much fight his body has left in it.

2. Wizards re-sign Gilbert Arenas: Any team that wants to sign Amar'e Stoudemire is going to think twice because of Arenas. Gil, like Stoudemire, was a super-talented 26 year old who was coming off of a major injury. The Wizards had faith and invested in him to the tune of 6 years, 111 million. And then Gilbert got hurt again. In 2009, Gil Arenas basically made a million dollars for every game he played in the last two years.

1. Kings re-sign Beno Udrih: While Udrih's 5 year, 32 million dollar contract pales in comparison to Arenas's deal, Beno's deal is worse becaue Gilbert can actually play. Udrih was a 25 year old PG coming off of a career year of... 12 points and 4 assists a game. Now he's due to make 8 million dollars in 2012. And after spending that money on Udrih, the Kings' most pressing need that many would call a desperate need is an actual point guard. The recession hitting Vegas and the Maloof's hard doesn't help make the contract look any better.

As for the blow-by-blow of the Year (and 2 Days) of Living Dangerously Stupid, keep reading.