Weekend Small Talk: Film Killers
Everyone has their pet peeves and when it comes to film, pet peeves can really kill a film. Just like when people just can't stand an actor, there are little moments or events that can prevent a person from investing in a film and keep them from enjoying the feature. There are damning pet peeves and then some that you can just gloss over. An example of the latter is the action film staple of: Why don't they just kill him? In countless action films (and most every James Bond film) there's always a moment in which the bad guy takes the hero hostage even though he has no reason at all to not just shoot the hero and end the story. Another case is the unfair chase. I'm actually parodying this in a script I'm writing but it's pretty ridiculous how in most films, a person can outrun a huge monster, an ice cream truck can keep up with a sports car, or a tractor trailer can stay ahead of an jet. It makes no sense but usually I can look past this and move on.
Another example of something that is becoming a cliche that I'm tired of seeing is the: "He shouldn't have known that!" How many films are going to end with the bad guy getting too confident and saying something about the case that only the killer would know. It's increasingly annoying when it comes at the end of a brilliant plan, as if the evil genius pulls off the heist of the century and then has a brain fart when he thought he was about to get away with it. I can usually not be bothered by it but it's been happening more and more often and it's starting to be a disappointing shortcut to the unveiling of the antagonist, especially in cop shows. Can't cops find the killer through old fashioned police work anymore?
Those are cliches that I can get past but there are some that are almost like a gut punch; they take the air out of the movie and I just can't get into it. Keep reading for my list of five cliches that make me shake my head and lose faith in a film.
5. The Sore Thumb Cameo: Usually these just take me out of the film for an instant and I can get back into it but there are few things as jarring as an oddly placed cameo. The best example of this is Ted Danson in "Saving Private Ryan". The movie is going along, everything is intense, and then all of a sudden Sam Malone pops up. I know it's a tough break for an actor to get typecast but it's just really jarring to see a well known actor pop up in a superfluous role in the middle of a film.
4. The Forced Happy Ending: "Eagle Eye" was a stupid movie but the forced happy ending in that film is beyond belief. If you don't want to know the end of the film, skip ahead to #3 but at the close of the climatic scene, Shia LeBouf gets gunned down and basically has to be dead. He gets shot from close range square in the back. Then the film cuts to an awards ceremony and Shia... is standing there in a sling. It's almost like the bullets didn't hurt him, he just jammed his shoulder when he fell to the ground. Too many films pull their final punch and try to make things happy by inexplicably having the good guys survive a definitely fatal injury. Even in a wholly unbelievable film like "Eagle Eye", the final survival of the hero elicited laughs from the audience.
3. Too Many Twists: There are a lot of films coming out nowadays that try to make you question everyone and not trust a soul. But it's getting to the point where there are so many twists that the audience just stop caring about everyone because they don't think they can believe in anyone. Audience are getting smarter and heist/con films need to adjust accordingly. Whereas they used to be able to exploit the audiences immediate belief in the main characters, now they have to work to exploit the jaded been-there, done-that attitude of many filmgoers. If you know that everything is a con, then you never believe in anything, and the film loses its grip.
2. "I was taping this conversation the whole time!" - While this might have been cool the first couple thousand times it happened, there really is nothing more disappointing than the twist of someone taping a conversation in secret. There have recently been some lauded films that use this device but, personally, it feels like a cop out. In most cases, the bad guys have zero reason to come out and confess their sins which makes it even worse.
1. Convoluted Plans: Terminator Salvation is like one long convoluted plan but the one that really stuck out to me was Michael Clayton. The villains in that film had no problem sneaking in and killing one character and making it look like a suicide but when it comes to Michael Clayton, they use a ridiculous remote car bomb device. Not only is the device hard to install and prone to failure but if you're in the middle of a sensitive case, would you really blow up a guy who is causing a scene by bombing his car? Honestly, how many car bombs happen in the suburbs of NY state? Wouldn't that bring undue attention to Clayton and his demise?
To me, there is nothing worse in a film than when you sit there and wonder, "Why don't they just..." I just can't get into chase scenes that are unnecessary. I can't buy a plot that is complex just so it can stretch the movie out or necessitate a chase scene. To me, there's nothing worse.
There are more of these cliches and conventions that bother me but, for now, those are my top five. What conventions can't you stand? What cliches are so frustrating that they completely take you out of the film and prevent you from getting back in for the ride?
